A comparison of the views on communication between men and women by deborah tannen and john gray

Are they doomed to moan, eternally, "You just don't understand? The idea has also leached into the academic and therapy arenas.

A comparison of the views on communication between men and women by deborah tannen and john gray

With this new boom of self-help books this is no longer a problem. Whether it is bad communication or dealing with petty arguments, there is a book out there for you and your partner. For women understanding their husband or boyfriend can be a real hassle.

According to Gray, men and women communicate completely differently almost speaking two languages. The male or "Martian" language is used most as " a general warning that he is either in his cave or on his way to the cave.

This is a frustrating situation for a concerned woman but according to Gray not worrying for a Martian will help him to exit the cave quicker and give him one less thing to worry about Women react quite differently when faced with problems or when communicating with their mate.

According to John Gray, "to fully express feelings women assume poetic license and use various superlative, metaphors, and generalizations.

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This could be quite helpful in order to sort out certain misunderstandings in a relationship. Similar to John Gray is Deborah Tannen, a more academically qualified author who conveys comparable ideals in her work "Put Down the Paper and Talk to me.

The language of women is mostly rapport talk, a language used to establish emotional relationships and making connections in a private setting. For men speaking is used for a different reason, "to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order.

Deborah Tannen says this is so because from their youth on men use talking as a way to get attention. Also because of these differences it may seem to a man that their female companion verbalizes more, when in actuality during a study at a public lecture, it showed that men actually talked at least twice as long as their female co-workers Tannen When delving into the world of self-help one must take into consideration all ideas for the topic.

There are critics for everything and these opponents often times bring up interesting counterpoints. Pollit explores the role of difference and equality feminism in communication between men and women in her essay "Are Women Morally Superior to Men?

William Morrow and Company, 1990

Difference feminism is based around the fact that women are more "relational" while men are more "autonomous. Also difference feminism conveys the idea that it is okay for there to be a difference among the sexes.

Pollit argues against this mindset and attacks Deborah Tannen for supporting it. Pollit says that women and men do not have different cultural backgrounds and that Tannen needs to take into consideration the economic and social ramifications when dealing with this.'Men and women are different species'-once we understand that, men and women get along.

Gray stated that men (Martians): are concerned with outdoor activities, interested in objects not people and feelings, value power and achievement and relax and disengage by doing something physical when things go wrong.

Like Tannen, Gray also states that men and women communicate in different ways.

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Gray's book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, pushes the concept a step further, however. Gray points out that what a man or woman says will be misinterpreted as if his or her partner is speaking a completely different language. Effective Communication Between Men and Women.

relationship. Similar to John Gray is Deborah Tannen, a more academically qualified author who conveys comparable ideals in her work "Put Down the Paper and Talk to me." Tannen's book revolves around the idea of "rapport-talk" and "report-talk" as well as "cross-cultural" communication between men and women.

read deborah tannen's most recent op-eds TIME's Motto, "The Truth About How Much Women Talk -- And Whether Men Really Listen" The Washington Post, "It's not just Trump's message that matters.

Women and men live in different worlds made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon.

This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness/5(). Communication Issues between Men and Women.

A comparison of the views on communication between men and women by deborah tannen and john gray

Bjornberg 1 Chad Bjornberg Critique Paper English 22 June The Differences of Understanding Deborah Tannen has written many books regarding communication issues between men and wemon.

She has an extraordinary background which includes a PhD in linguistics from Berkeley, and currently holds a position at Georgetown University as a .

Communication styles of men and women, Tannen